Let Me In
by EO-Hiphuggers
Summary: Everyone knows that Stella Bonasera is the toughest nut in New York City. When life at the NYPD Crime Lab begins to take a toll on her life; personally & professionally, will she lower her walls to let her best friend & the love of her life in? Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Let Me In- Mac / Stella- CSI:NY

A/N: I do not own CSI:NY or the characters, they belong to Jerry Bruckheimer.

Chapter 1

It was a very cold winter's night and Stella Bonasera was working hard at the New York City Crime Lab. She was up to her eyes in a case, which involved the kidnapping of a 3-year-old girl called Chanél Connors. An amber alert had been launched, but still, the crime lab was NO nearer to finding her. Until, she got a text to her phone. It said that a body had been found in the water below the Brooklyn Bridge and Stella began to think the worst.

'_We don't know for sure it's her'_ she thought, but somehow see did not have a good feeling about this. She grabbed her kit and headed to the scene.

*******************CSI:NY*****SMacked*******************

As she walked toward the corners van, Mac was walking toward her. She did not like the look on his face.

"Mac, what's wrong?" Stella inquired; trying to not let the bad thoughts in her head reach and become evident in her voice.

"Stella, I'm going to take you off this case because…" Stella cut off Mac.

"Is it her Mac?"

R & R please :D ¯


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry that the first chapter was short, this one will be a bit longer. I do not own CSI:NY or the Characters, they belong to Jerry Bruckheimer.

Chapter 2

Mac Stared at Stella for a while before dropping his head and nodding. Mac could see the tears beginning to well in Stella's eyes as she set her kit down on the ground. Mac moved toward Stella with his arms open.

"Stell…Come here…"

"No Mac…I'm fine…," replied Stella throwing her arms up in the air, turning on her heel and walking away. Mac knew she was angry and upset that the little girl was dead, but he also knew that she was blaming herself; which she should not be.

Mac decided to give her some space and time to cool off; he would go and check on her in a while.

********************20 MINUTES LATER********************

Stella was still nowhere to be found. She was not in the area around the crime scene and Mac was now a little worried. It was the middle of the night going into the early hours of the morning and Stella was out their somewhere all alone. He tried calling her but it just went to voicemail. Mac had a portable phone tracker in his SUV and he decided to trace Stella's phone to see where she was. He typed in Stella's cell phone number and waited a few seconds for it to pick up her location. As he was waiting for the location, he looked around, and noticed Danny and Lindsay were walking toward him. They had just finished collecting the evidence from the crime scene and were about to head back to the lab. They had shared a lift to the scene with Mac. When he saw Danny and Lindsay, he also noticed that Stella's SUV was gone.

"Mac…Found some evidence on the bridge and the railing…" said Danny, holding up the evidence bags.

"And I found some footprints and handprints too." Replied Lindsay and looked at Mac strangely who was staring at the device in front of him.

_'She is in central park'_ Thought Mac. He then replied to Lindsay. "Yea Lindsay, everything is fine, if you and Danny are heading back to the lab, could you drop me off at central park?"

"Sure Mac," replied Danny, who took the keys from his boss's hand and made a face at Lindsay and laughed, "and Hunny, I'm driving."

********************15 MINUTES LATER********************

Mac had just been dropped off at Central Park by Danny and Lindsay. He walked through the park and saw Stella up ahead of him, sitting on a park bench. He walked up to her slowly and handed her a cup of coffee. He then took his and sat down beside her.

"Thanks" Stella whispered softly.

The two of them sat there in silence for a while; the only noise was them sipping on their coffee.

"Mac, were did you manage to get coffee at," Stella looked at her watch, "3 O'Clock in the morning?" she said quietly and looked up into Mac's beautiful blue eyes. He looked back at her and smiled.

"I know a few places." they both laughed a little and sighed. Mac could see that Stella was shivering under the blazer she was wearing, so he took of his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. He just sat and stared at her for a little while, taking in her beauty, trying to read her mind and tell what she was thinking. "Stella," Mac began, and she turned to look at him again, "Talk to me."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long guys, but I finally came up with an idea for the next chapter of this story :D Please check out my other new stories and let me know what you think! :D The idea that I came p with in this chapter, wasn't originally what I had planned, but, I think it fits. Sensitive subject matter in this chapter and the next few chapters, so rated M for this.**

Stella sat there for a moment. She continued to stare into her coffee cup as Mac kept his eyes fixed on her. She took another sip of coffee but still refused to answer Mac. He gently placed his hand on her thigh which caused a lot of emotions to flood through Stella's body.

"Stella…When you talk about things with the people around you who care about you, it makes you feel a lot better."

"I know it does Mac, but…" Stella replied and fixed her eyes on Mac's hand which now rested on her thigh. She sighed deeply and turned to face him. "…It doesn't bring back the people that have died because we didn't do our jobs well enough and get to them in time before they were kil.."

Mac cut Stella off. "Stella, you do your job better than anybody I know. If anybody is to blame for people being killed in our line of work, it's the monsters that either a) haven't been committed or b) haven't been locked up yet. Its not your fault, so don't blame yourself."

Stella was silent and she sighed again deeply. "I just wish we could have got to her quicker." she whispered faintly.

Mac nodded. It was beginning to get colder, and Mac got up from the park bench. He held out his hand for Stella. "Shall we head back?" Stella nodded and took Mac's hand as he helped her up. Stella and Mac put their coffee cups in the garbage bin where they were sitting. They walked for a little while in silence, when Mac sensed there was something else Stella hadn't told him. He turned to look at her, and the lamppost overhead lit up Stella's face, and Mac noticed she was crying; this was unusual for Stella, as no-one ever saw her true emotions because she always made it that she had a tough exterior which couldn't be broken. Mac gently touched her arm, causing her to jump slightly, and she looked down at the ground.

"Stel, what's wrong?" Mac asked sympathetically.

Stella looked up at him with a trembling bottom lip and just burst into more floods of tears. Mac embraced her in a warm hug and held her tightly. He knew this case was taking it's toal on her, but he didn't know why. He was about to find out though.

**A/N: Sorry it's short, but I'm struggling with idea's. The next chapter will be better and also I had to stop it there because it would ruin the next bit otherwise! PLEASE R&R! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys, Sorry it's been a long time from I last updated. I haven't been on FF for a while, due to other commitments that has made my life pretty hectic at the minute. I'll try and update a lot of my stories soon if I can, but I have a very crazy and busy time ahead of me up until at least the New Year and possibly February. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. Just to clarify, this story is set during season 1, with something's changed to fit my story.

Chapter 4

Stella tried to focus on anything but Mac. She could feel herself beginning to shake as everything around her began to spin. She tried to focus on Mac, as she stumbled forward, but Mac caught her before she hit the ground. Mac decided not to press her anymore on the subject, and he knew when she was ready she would tell him. He helped her to her SUV and got into the driver's seat. He decided to take Stella home, as she was exhausted and needed to rest.

*******************CSI:NY*****SMacked*******************

When he arrived outside Stella's building, he got out and went around in order to help her out of the car. He helped her up to her apartment, and as they went inside, she collapsed in a heap on the sofa. Mac noticed she had started crying again. He hated seeing her like this. He sat down beside her and embraced her in a hug. She wept softly as she gripped Mac's shirt for dear life.

Mac whispered softly, "It's going to be okay Stella." He gently stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

*******************CSI:NY*****SMacked*******************

About 30 minutes later; even though it had seemed like hours, Stella had calmed down slightly. Mac got up to get her a glass of water. He handed it to her and sat back down beside her.

"I'm sorry Mac." Stella said faintly taking a sip of the water.

Mac hugged her gently, "Stell, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Mac, I should have taken myself of this case and I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Mac looked at her questioningly. "I don't follow, what do you mean?"

Stella gulped, and found a spot on the floor to focus on. "You remember when we were in the academy and I said that I always wanted a baby? Well, after you and me…you know… you left to go to the Marines and a couple of months after that, I discovered I was indeed going to have a child. When I was pregnant, I was doing my forensic training, and I was out on work experience working with forensics over in New Jersey, when I solved a 30 year old case, and put a notorious crime lord behind bars. I got threats shortly after that, and ended up moving back to New York for the safety of me and my child. I had only had the baby 1 week, when I was about to leave the hospital and I was shot at. Lucky, they missed, but it was there and then I decided that my baby would be better off with a family who wasn't in danger like I was. I wanted so badly to tell you that we had a child, but I couldn't find you anywhere in New York, and every time I tried to contact you at the Marines, I was ignored and told that they couldn't give out any information as to where any of their Marine's might be. I hoped that if I ever did tell you, you would have thought that I did the right thing. Then, when I found you again, and discovered you had married Claire, I didn't want to destroy your marriage by announcing that you had a child."

Mac was in shock. He didn't know quite what to say. He knew Stella would probably never forgive him for asking, but he had to know. "Stella, are you sure the baby is mine?"

Stella looked at him with anger in her eyes. "M-ac," she stuttered, "How could you even ask me that? If you asking me if I slept with someone else after you left for the Marine's, then the answer you are looking for is no."

Mac looked at Stella sympathetically. "I'm sorry Stella; I know I shouldn't have asked that. I'm sorry."

Mac put his arm around her and held her close. Stella could feel tears trickling down her face.

"Mac, there's more."

Mac looked at her worryingly.

"I gave the baby to an Irish woman who was my nurse at the hospital. Her name was Mychel Connors."

Mac's head shot up to look her in the eyes.

"She died just over a year ago in a car crash, I read about it in the paper. I never met her husband who then had custody of the child. I never could find them, but I think…I think Chanel was our biological daughter."

Stella sobbed loudly, as Mac tried to be strong and comfort her. He had been shocked to find out that they had a child, but the gut wrenching blow had come just then when he had been informed that the child that had been found could possibly be their daughter.

"Stella," Mac said and held her close, "We'll need to do a DNA test to find out if she is our daughter."

Stella nodded, and began to cry again. Mac continued to hold her close. He was silently praying to God that this was not their daughter; the daughter that he didn't know he had and the daughter that he had never met. He could feel tears brimming in his eyes, but he knew he had to be strong for Stella, even though everything inside of him wanted to collapse into a heap on the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey Guys! I know I haven't updated this story in like FOREVER, but I've been really busy, and I came up with more ideas for this story, so I thought now would be a good time to update! This chapter is rated M due to sensitive subject matter.**

Chapter 5

12 hours ago, Mac's world had been completely turned upside down. He had been given a case that involved the death of a child, he had been told that he had a child with Stella Bonasera, he had been informed that the dead child could very well be his daughter, and he had taken a DNA sample from Stella in order to find out if the dead child was her biological daughter. That was 12 hours ago, and now, he had been waiting on the DNA results and he was still trying to solve Chanél Connors death. Mac was sitting at his desk reading through endless lab reports while Stella Bonasera was asleep on the sofa in the corner of the office.

*******************CSI:NY*****SMacked*******************

Mac had stayed with her during the night at her place. They had both curled up in each other's arms on the sofa, as Mac continued to comfort her. Around 5:30am, Stella had managed to drift off to sleep. Mac however was still wide awake. He still felt numb. He couldn't believe the enormous blows they had both been dealt recently. He was trying so hard to be strong for Stella, but really, inside, he thought he was going to crumble at any moment. He and Stella had a child; a beautiful daughter and he just prayed that it wasn't the dead little girl that had been pulled out of the water.

Mac opened his eyes and looked at the clock on the wall- 8:00am. He noticed that Stella wasn't beside him. He got up and walked toward her bedroom. He knocked the door gently. "Stella." He opened the door and found her slouched on the floor leaning against the bottom of the bed. She had tears streaming down her face, and she clutched a photo in her hand; a photo that had been taken of their daughter when she was just born.

Mac sat down beside her. "I…I think it is her Mac. My gut is just telling me it is." He pulled her into his embrace.

"Stella, we won't know for sure until the DNA results come back."

"If I hadn't had given her away, none of this would have…"

Mac cut her off. "This is not your fault."

Mac kissed her forehead. He held her close. He felt her shaking and he knew that she was terrified that she had lost her daughter. A child was the one thing she had always wanted. Mac and Stella just sat their quietly. After a very long silence, Stella spoke so softly that Mac thought he imagined it. "I'm Sorry."

Mac looked at her curiously. "For what?"

"For not telling about our daughter sooner."

"Stella, I've known you for a very long time, and I know that the only reason you wouldn't have told me would be because you had your reasons. This is not your fault. Stella, I love you; I have done for a very long time and whatever the outcome from these results, we will get through it together."

Mac pulled her into another embrace, and held her tightly as she wrapped her arms around him.

*******************CSI:NY*****SMacked*******************

Even though she had barely had any sleep, she had still insisted on coming into work today. Mac had told her a few hours ago, to take a break, so when she had fallen asleep on the sofa in his office; he thought that it was best to let her sleep. He had placed a woolen blanket over her to keep her warm.

Mac had been so deep in the lab reports that he hadn't noticed Adam appear in the doorway. He had asked Adam to quietly run the DNA test and he had just gotten the results. The dreaded moment had come. Mac got up from his chair, and gently shook Stella's arm.

"Stella…"

Stella stirred and slowly opened her eyes to see Mac standing over her.

"Stella, the DNA results are here."

Stella sat up on the sofa and Mac sat down beside her. He clasped his hands over hers and waited for Adam to speak.

Adam opened the file and looked at both of them. Mac closed his eyes and gulped. Stella's heart was beating rapidly.

"I ran the test three times and each time I got the same results." He looked at both of them, who were staring back at him with a mixture of fear and anxiousness in their eyes. "The victim, Chanél Connors is not your daughter."

As soon as the words left Adam's mouth, Stella sobbed again and began to cry. A wave of relief passed over Mac as he comforted Stella and thanked Adam. Adam left the office. Stella looked at him with relief in her eyes. Mac, who also had tears in his eyes, hugged Stella tightly again. He whispered in her ear, "Our daughter is still out there somewhere, and we're going to find her and bring her home."

Stella nodded, and Mac continued. "You get some more sleep, and I'll go and see what else I can find on Mychel Connors."


End file.
